i turned around and killed the uncertainty before it killed me

i know what i have to do..if i'm not experiencing the i'm so in love with you/can't live without you syndrome..then in all likelyhood, i'm not in love and can live without you....which is perfectly fine except for the fact that i don't seem to feel that way about anyone..and i wonder if i ever will....

inspiration isn't spewing....analysis and over analysis however seems to be the thought for the day...that and the fact that for some reason i'm having difficulty spelling.
a song writer and a boy in love. someone who noticed me forever [i know] and someone who went away....it's always a stupid rectangle lol
..and then theres me..who's comfortable with me...

baaga beach 

baaga house 

kan and the kids 

neil and kan 

mapuca market.... booze! hehe

primary colours

going home...i din wanna go home....

kan...outside baaga house Goa!

sam, kan and ala........mapuca bus station,Goa

take control of life

14/9/04
to start with - FINISH CLEANING ROOM *big overdue sigh*........i think that should do for starters.....i'm not a wah wah cry baby....i'm not a wah wah cry baby.....bwaaaaaaaahhh.....i think i'm a wah wah cry baby...*sniffle*

then:
the mediocrity and unacceptance is getting to me.
maybe i should learn to start being on my own again.....

now:
and then i realise that there are people who care enough to call all away from across the other end of the world.
so screw the mediocrity and unacceptance

love affair

ATTENTION!

-CLEAN THE ROOM! the mess is driving you crazy...aaaaaarrrrrrggggh
-sleep less, eat more
-work less,talk more[optional-no kamal and bellyup to talk to]
-pray more,sigh less
-practice being sneaky[optional]
-shop less,save more[so that i can buy my nikon n75..by next month at least][if anyone feels generous and feels like contributing- early christmas/birthday/just for the heck of it(cash) presents go right ahead ]:D hehe always the optimist.

i walked today. an unlikely event.not that i'm opposed to walking.i just dont walk much ..* huff puff* *pant pant*.. i contemplated taking an auto home..but i told myself 'be strong' i resisted temptation *pat on the back* and started to walk back *huff puff* *pant pant pant* it looked like fate had other ideas..and conveniently placed the offer of a ride in my path..mostly in the form of..whats his name??..joshua..yeah josuha. i declined 'so there fate' and precariously continued on my way home...about a hunded yards or so later, this car slows down and says jump in[the desouza mother if you're wondering who]. so i say to hell with walking and sit down. *relief..sigh*...we very nearly reach home when she decides that just then would be a fun time to eulogise on the merits of the catholic church... shoot me!...if only she knew i don't go to church....so like i will henceforth say...'every ride has it's price'
good luck and god bless all you riders :D out there
cheers
kan

brandi 

M 

j-man 

fox