Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Pissed

Emmanuel lived in Nagaland for a bit and he taught children.
While he taught, children would sometimes just get up and run out in the middle of class.
On asking one child where she was off to, she said,'I want to piss.'
So he explained to the class, that before they leave, they must excuse themselves, ask permission and then leave.
They agreed and continued with class.
A little while later another girl puts her hand up.
'Excuse me,' she says.
'I want to piss.'
And runs out of class.

:)

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Twisted Tales

Original version
Sister Pat said that they had found a place where they could hear voices coming from the centre of the earth. They assume that place might be hell.

Circulated version
Sister Pat went to hell.

Category: Humour
Taken from: www.notesinmypocket.blogspot.com

The Last Room

We were all afraid of it.Wern't we.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Lounge Piranha- Gold

George lies unconcious on the road. In the mayhem of Rohan killing the exams monster, he's been mortally wounded. Rohan is checking him out with his new stethoscope. Gets up and declares to the rest, "He's not going to make it". Everyone looks shocked, "unless...", he continues, "well there's only way. Within the next 24 hours, if we apply the paste of one rare plant to his wound, he might make it...". Pervez steps up to the microphone and blows his dij three times. "Where do we find it?" Over the next five minutes, Rohan and Pervez confer secretly, pouring over maps and making some of their own. Presently Pervez, armed with a dij and a bunch of maps, gets on his bullet and chugs off into the distance. The evening sun sets and night falls. It is a slow night. Every minute that passes George fades further away. "You think Pervez will find it?", Lord K asks no one in particular. "Absolutely", answers no one in particular. The sun rises eventually and makes its way across the sky. George, unmoving, unblinking, is in another universe. By lunch time, Rohan is worried. "We don't have much time left...", and bites into his egg puff. By three o clock all are giving up hope, sitting in a line staring at the horizon. "Say...", says Lord Ganesha pointing at the horizon with his trunk, "Is yonder hill moving?". And he's right. Yonder hill is moving. Coming straight towards them in fact. At three fifteen Pervez pulls up on his bullet, with an entire hill balanced on his back carrier. Three overwhelmed jaws drop to the ground in awe. "I found the hill", Pervez explains slowly, "but I wasn't sure which plant it was, so I brought the whole hill" Rohan is a bit suspicious but he gets to work immediately, climbs hill, finds plant, makes paste, applies on wound. In a few moments George stirs and opens his eyes. A collective sigh of relief. The first thing he sees before him is the hill. A flash of recognition in his eyes. Then confusion. "What are we doing in Idukki?", he asks. Pervez smiles.

Lounge Piranha LIVE in concert.

at Maya, 3rd Floor, The Bombay Store, M.G. Road

on Friday, 20th April 2007, 8.30pm onwards

100 bucks entry at the door. Full fun inside.

- LP

... and www.loungepiranha.com for one cup sykosis...
... and www.myspace.com/loungepiranhamusic for one plate music

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Letter

08042007
E,
Sometimes I want a period of time to stand still. You know, the time when we had enough and didn't want more, at least for then. To stand still; not for forever but for a while longer.
But then, growing older and living has never been so anticipated. There's so much to look forward to.The isolation though. Sometimes I wonder about that.
People say I talk in my sleep at night and remark on it. I think it's because there's no one for me to talk to during the day. At least no one that I'd want to. But I adapt. I'm human aren't I? And I suppose it would be easy to think, come back, if I'm so miserable here. But the horrid truth is that I'm not.
I'm just a little on the right side of in between.
I'll see you soon. And it'll be lovely.
K


Letter type: Unposted

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My morning started off hearing about one nother fellow's morning.
:)
He says:
---
Today morning started funny.
In my company if you reach work after 10
one auto email comes asking why and you have to put some reason which your manager may or may not approve.
My manager's super cool though, he always approves.
He came in and told me to take a look at some of my excuses for coming late (its all in a database)
10:01
reason: woke up one minute late
10:05
reason: traffic situations
10:03
bike took 3 minutes to start
10:12
6 minutes was because of traffic and 6 minutes was because I left home late
hahahaha


Category: Creative Awards nominee?
'I have a perfect set of teeth', she said. 'And the dentist told me I have an 'A' Grade jaw', she puffed proudly.
'Is that so?' I asked looking at her. Her 'A' Grade jaw holding my attention for a moment and noticing, really, how perfect it was.
'I kind of liked crooked teeth myself', I said quietly before turning away.

Category: Crooked teeth

Monday, April 09, 2007

The angry days.
Do I ever write about those.
The days where everybody clawed their well meaning intentions into a mind.
Never really understanding.
Never learning to draw or distinguish lines. The pencil ones.
The ones between right and wrong and want.
Never.

Category: Fiction; trying something new

I bunked

Maundy Thursday
Good Friday
Holy Saturday
AND
Easter Sunday
Church

Although on Easter Sunday,I did go very near church. I don't know if that counts.

Category:How NOT to get to Roman Catholic heaven
How could she.

Category:[blank]
I was watching this show on TV yesterday
And the screwed up younger sister?
That was me
Crap, crap
Crap


Category:Identifying with television characters

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Um Al Quwain-The weekend

We got to see
Fish fly
Jellyfish die
And my ass hanging out of a swimsuit.


That's a picture of me posing in front of my yacht.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

I can't imagine, putting myself in a place, without first figuring out where the exit is.
-A.S.Kelly

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Poochekann, poonyekann


They live in Pi's washing machine. Really.
Super cool it is. Is so.
:)
She, the cook who speaks only Tamil, treats me, the girl who speaks only English, like a child.
She holds my chin between her thumb and fore finger and asks, 'Very?'
'Very, what?' I look at her.
'Very nice?' she says, encouraging a verdict on her cooking.
'Nallarke' *, I smile up at her. Making the best use ever of that word I learned half a minute ago.

Category: Language, barrier breaking, knowing what's important
*Nallarke[in Tamil]=Sakkath[in Kannada]=Superb[in English],like that.